I did debate to myself whether or not to post this because I really do try not to talk about MS a lot but its been bugging me since it happened. Its really so small and immaterial but for some reason it bugged me.
So a few days ago I had to use the disabled washroom down town which you need a RADAR key to use. Yeah no biggie, would have used the normal bathrooms but they were locked but that is why I have the key to begin with if the bathrooms are locked. So when I went to leave there were 2 women looking at the locked gates and then they saw me. Looked me up and down like I was something rotten on the bottom of their shoes and whispered to each other "well she doesn't look disabled"
Now normally I would have either turned the air blue replying and gotten in trouble, or would have asked them if they would like my disability so they can be looked at the same way. But I was in too much pain from our walk and had to go meet Mr.F at the pharmacy. I was visibly limping and clearly in pain but not good enough for these ladies apparently.
Now I know that you can't always tell if a person has a disability, especially one like MS, but what gives them the right to look at me like that, to whisper to each other like I wouldn't hear or care, or to judge for themselves if I am disabled enough for them? No right at all.
And yes I shouldn't have let it bug me, but it did. Not 100% sure why, part of it is people looking at me like I am a freak, the other part is people looking at me like I am playing the system. Thats not all of the reason it bugged me, wish I could figure out why. Your damned if you are disabled and people see it and your damned if your are disabled and people can't see it.
Before it was people thinking I was drunk since I use to get tired walking really quickly and tended to sway and limp (getting better since we have been walking everywhere, but not perfect yet), I could kind of deal with that and laugh it off and say well this must be what it feels like to be drunk :p
I know it is something that a lot of people with MS have to deal with, the preconceptions and stares, but it does start to bug a person. I do try to educate people about MS and that does go along way towards helping, but there are sometimes when people just don't listen.
And it doesn't help when people think you are a hypochondriac and faking things when clearly not.
But I will say something. Angus College is being really helpful which is really great :)
ok so thats my incoherent rant for the month :p