Fuzzydragons

Deleted my Google+ account and thought I had deleted the whole blog as well. Total meltdown and panic stations, couldn't log in at all. John noticed that the blog was still online and he could log in, so obviously I hadn't killed the blog. However my account name was showing as "unknown", he couldn't remove my account from the blog either oddly despite blogger saying "deleted" (was going to try remove and readd to see if it unborked it) I then tried an old link I had saved for blogger and it prompted me to choose a display name, did that and everything seems to be working as normal again. So looks like I had my blogger account tied to Google+ and me deleting Google+ borked something, luckily recoverable though. Heart stopping moment along with my usual deflection "I was gonna quit anyway" (John saw through that lie in under a second :P ) Backup user account created as a precaution against further issues....

So I've tried to speak about how to cope with knowing your partner has MS. I don't want to sound like whiner or undermine what Jen goes through, but I need to air this, and maybe save someone else from becoming as embittered, cynical and hardened as I am. To be honest there are a damned lot of times I struggle to cope, I won't lie, its taken a horrendous mental toll. Watching someone slowly lose their mobility isn't easy, especially when you see the statistics... 50% of RRMS sufferers go to SPMS within 10 years, and 90% within 25 years....not really great odds and persistently the elephant in the room...constant uncertainty is what wears you down, not knowing. At least with a roadmap you know what to expect, but with MS its always ready to throw you an unpleasant curve ball when you least expect it. Jen copes admirably...me on the other hand, I feel worn down, burnt out, bitter, angry at everything and nothing at the same time...an unfocused rage with no one targ...

Carefree Canadian Days So I've been thinking about writing this for a long, long time, just haven't found the words, still not sure I have tbh. The following is my and only my view of what its like to be the partner / carer of someone with M.S. I say partner / carer as the lines rapidly become blurred, and at times it can feel as though your more carer than husband /partner / wife / girlfriend / boyfriend / fiance / fiancee etc. Lets go back 10 years, we had just gotten back to the U.K. after almost a year in Canada (we came back for a myriad of reasons - too many to go into - had we not..the road taken, likely would have been a lot lot different) A few months in, I noticed Jen stumbling, tripping over her feet, falling over for no reason, then she started having pins and needles and loss of sensation in her hands and feet. Thankfully the GP recognised it as stocking and glove neuropathy, and referred Jen to neurology, at this point I was working as a Bookseller in Bo...

John's 34th birthday today and if it wasn't so windy out he would probably be sawing posts today for the fence for the front lol

So after a brief outage when Google's automated system decided for some unknown reason to decide this blog violated its TOS (amongst many others) We are back. However this has prompted a decision to relocate the blog to another platform. Info will be posted here or on www.fuzzydragons.com or www.fuzzydragons.co.uk So have a photo of Sky when she was a pup...almost 6 years ago O.o

Its been raining all day and I still feel like crap, so need some colour today. John would have taken these because even with a nice camera and lens, my hands are way too shaky without a tripod to get detailed shots like this.

My hydrangea broke a few months ago after a really strong windstorm and I did try to get this to grow roots, but nope it died. Got some nice photos of it and the main plant is still alive so should have some more flowers next year. Love how all the colours blend together. Love how much detail shows up on my camera lens. Still wet from the storm. As usual, photos taken by John since I can't see properly to take photos, even with auto focus on. I figured out the best way to describe my vision. If you have ever been swimming and opened your eyes under water, that blurry out of focus look is how my vision is at the moment. Getting better but still messed up.

Most of the flowers around here have either died or are starting to die back, but its a good thing we take so many photos so I have lots of flowers pics. Not sure if there are enough to last the winter, but there might be. I think John took most of these, but a lot of the time its hard to tell who took what since we have such similar photographic styles. My favorite flower. Need to get some more next year, and some in different colours so they are not all purple :p OK so I did say I wasn't going to post more daisy photos, guess I lied :p Just really like how the photo captured the daisy still half closed.

People are probably sick of seeing daisies lol This is probably the last of the photos of them for awhile since they are starting to die now. You can tell its turning into Fall, not that we had much of a Summer before it tho :p Nice bright oranges and reds :) Not sure why the petals are bent, there were a few of them like this, very strange. Last one, I promise.

John did manage to get some footage of the wheel as it moves...slowly :p its windy, really need to invest in proper recording equipment if we are going to post more videos.

Someone looks very smug in this photo....

Hmm pavements are now white outside :/ I HATE WINTER!! unlike Mrs F, who loves it....strange strange strange girly.....

Today's creative space is actually Mr.F's. I have had this really pretty fabric for ages, and need a new bag for my big sketchbook, so he is going to make me another bag. I think its official. He has used my sewing machine more than I have lol :p (he is ill, hence the vicks :p) I did manage to work a bit on my dragons after having to wait around for the cooker repair man to show up to tell us what we already knew. Its broken. No shit. *roll eyes* At least this guy actually ran the tests properly and took the time to see if there was anything wrong with it, so I will give him that (the last guy was a joke). Only a few weeks old and it has never worked properly :/ So another new stove (exchange this one). For more creative spaces, head here :)

Our backyard... hmm maybe really small fish could live in it :p

john's sprain , a photo by fuzzydragons on Flickr.

So Mr.F built me a new desk as the old one was starting to get, well old :p This thing isn't moving, Ever :p Made up from parts of the old desk and left over counter tops from the inlaws new kitchen. Works really well and its recycling rather than chucking the counter top in the skip :) hmm now I really should organize those shelves :p